im having a threesome with these popsicles
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
