I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
