I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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