Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
