He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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