he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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