I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
