Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
