yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
