The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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