I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
