If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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