My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
