This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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