Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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