i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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