I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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