I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
