scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
