just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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