Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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