I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Did you just see the Batmobile???
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Liz is crying about burritos again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
