Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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