Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
