he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
