party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to sanitize my soul.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
