the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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