She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
