How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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