Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
