Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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