At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
