If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
They have beer where we have blood.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
