So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
