toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we have officially lost it.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
