i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
