I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
