It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there's paper in my vomit.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
