I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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