so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
