I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
