its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
