id be glad to
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everclear isn't food dammit
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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