Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
