I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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