you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
