thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
