They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
