since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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