just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
